You've probably been there, I certainly have. Another interminable team building event: someone trying to make chalk and cheese become best friends, by rehashing every single thing they disagree about, interspersed with "games" that only serve to highlight their differences. Here's what is going wrong...
(Oh, and you might not be in a team, but this applies to any relationship, with suppliers, clients, family...)
It seems logical, doesn't it, to build friendships to make teams work better? But look at it more closely and that model falls apart:
There are two substantial misunderstandings in placing friendship as a requirement for business relationships:
For a business, that means wasted time, money and opportunities.
Imagine if a simple change of perspective allowed you to get on with difficult people, quickly and easily - and as a side effect build a much more genuine rapport.
Then you can get on with doing what you are good at!
The only person you need a connection with is yourself. In fact, that's the only person you can connect with. The beauty of this is you are always connected to yourself, you just need a chance to recognise it. Even better, you don't need other people or relationships to change, before you can be okay.
The single thing to realise is that other people, events or circumstances can't make you feel a particular way. How you see everything is a projection of your current mental state. There are people, events and circumstances out there, but you experience them from the inside. When you see life clearly, this becomes obvious.
From there, you will have much more clarity about what steps to take. Sometimes this will mean moving away from certain people, other times clearly explaining yourself, other times seeing a situation in a new light.
This is why you can develop rapport with others, co-operate effectively and work together gracefully - all without a single analysing conversation about the past, or bizarre bean-bag passing game (unless you are so inclined).
Contact me for a chat, and see where it takes you...
Sara is a facilitator in the Principles behind Subtractive Psychology, helping you get more out of life by having less on your mind.